I’ve got a confession for you: I’ve always been quick to say the L word. I finally learned, though, that doing so leads to the quick destruction of your relationship and love, and I’m going to explain why.
Relationship Expert Discusses Saying “I Love You” For the First Time
According to my expert dating advice, telling somebody you love them shouldn’t be taken lightly. As a matter of fact, it’s a very serious thing to say to somebody. The problem is, too many of us throw “I love you” around too quickly, and that’s because we’re in love with the idea of who we think someone is.
Every time I thought I was in love, I was always in love with the idea of that person. I loved the way they looked; I loved the way they smelled; I loved the way they spoke. I loved what I thought they were all about. The myth of being in love is the key here. You see, when we think we know somebody, we fall in love with the idea of what we actually think they are.
We’re all guilty of it. We tend not to listen when people usually tell us exactly who they are. So let’s go a little deeper right now, and talk about the L word.
When you meet somebody and you think you’re in love with them, it’s your thoughts that you love. You’re deeply intoxicated and love drunk, under the powerful drug called chemistry.
I remember my last relationship and love. I was so in love with her, that I was blinded to who she really was. She wasn’t a bad person. She was actually a good person, but she wasn’t my special person. I put the L word out there and told her I loved her quickly — and that changed everything. She immediately felt like she could do no wrong.
Here was this great man that told her how much he loved her after only three weeks. Six months later, when the relationship was on rocky ground and I started expressing my needs, wants, and desires, she had no idea what to do. She thought I was happy the whole time because I told her how much I loved her over and over again.
The right time to tell someone new that you love them is when you really get to know them. You get to know who they are; you get to know their faults; you get to know what they’re about. When you know that they make you feel loved, wanted, and desired, then it’s time.
I’m going to say it again: The L word is not something you should throw around lightly. That will get you into trouble. So I strongly suggest you follow this expert dating advice: Take 90 days to look at your partner, see what they’re all about, and get to know them. See who they are in different situations. See if the feeling of love is real or just chemical.
Give yourself this 90-day challenge and don’t say the L word for the first three months. If the love drunk feeling begins to wear off and you see them for who they really are and you still want to tell them that you love them, go for it.
David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship expert, author of the book Naked, and speaker. Through his boot camps, personal coaching, and his website, his love advice has transformed the relationships and love of hundreds of thousands of people from every corner of the globe.
For more expert relationship advice from David, click here.
On this week’s Single in Stilettos show, founder and matchmaker Suzanne Oshima talks to dating expert and relationship author Tinzley Bradford about how to be a smarter dater. “I do what I do because I love to help women be better!” Bradford, writer of The Settle-Free Dating Method for Women, exclaims. …Don’t miss the rest! Click here for more love advice.
In this week’s Single in Stilettos relationship advice video, founder and matchmaker Suzanne Oshima talks to relationship expert and intimacy coach Iris Benrubi about her best dating advice for single women over 40. If you’re wondering if you’ll ever find a relationship and love, check out the video above!
Three Tips to Help You Find a Relationship and Love
Here are three pieces of expert dating advice to help you meet The One:
1. Do something different: Look at what you’ve been doing in your search for love and try something new. “If you’re not meeting the right man and the same thing keeps happening in the dating scene…you need to start doing things differently,” Oshima explains. For instance, if you haven’t had any luck at a bar, head to the park or coffee shop.
2. Handle your anxiety: There are a lot of risks when it comes to looking for love, and it’s important to handle the anxiety that comes with that risk in a healthy way. “Learn to soothe yourself so you’re not depending on a man to soothe you,” Benrubi shares.
3. Learn to acknowledge men: “They need to know that you admire and respect them,” Benrubi says. It’s important that he knows how he makes you feel. It’s that simple!
For more relationship advice videos and additional information about Single in Stilettos shows, click here.
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What is your best dating advice to meet the right man? Tell us in the comments below!
On this week’s Single in Stilettosrelationship advice video, matchmaker Suzanne Oshima talks to My Own Diva founder Marianne Jordan about looking for love after a divorce or break-up. Jordan knows about this challenge from first-hand experience: She married when she was 26-years-old and found herself divorced in her early 30s. The dating expert launched her company when she realized there was no support for younger women dealing with the end of marriage, and now, My Own Diva also caters to those going through a tough break-up or the loss of a loved one.
Here are some of the love advice questions Jordan answers in the video above: How long should you wait after a divorce to look for a new relationship and love? How hard is it to take that first step into the dating world? And what do you do if you get scared? Plus, she reveals her five best tips for how to open up your heart again.
For more relationship advice videos and additional information about Single in Stilettos shows, click here.
For more videos from CupidsPulse.com, check out our YouTube channel.
What is your best love advice for someone dating after divorce? Tell us in the comments below!
The Olsen household is going to have one stylish Christmas celebration! Fans may not know that The Row fashion designers have a younger sister, actress Elizabeth. Photo: Janet Mayer / PR Photos; David Gabber / PRPhotos.com
Of all the roles she’s played, Lori Loughlin is most proud of the one she takes on at home: that of wife and mother. Of course, it’s not always easy to balance her busy career with her family life. “One day at a time – you do the best you can,” she candidly shares in our celebrity interview. “Some things fall through the cracks, but you know, I have a wonderful husband, and he’s always on board… Somehow, we make it work.” …Want to know more? Click here for the rest of our celebrity interview!
“I found out that a guy liked me, and I liked him too. I tried to talk to him more and set up a casual date, but he stopped responding. What gives?”
As a relationship expert, I hear about this story happening a lot. It’s like the person just vanishes. You thought they liked you back. You were talking a lot, and then suddenly, you never hear back from them. This phenomenon is called “ghosting,” and the idea behind it is simple: It’s easier to ignore the situation instead of facing it head on. …Don’t miss the rest! Click here for more.
If you’re looking for the latest celebrity news and romance rumors, you’ve come to the right place! Below, I consider the future of three celebrity couples, two new pairs and one on-again, off-again duo. …Want to know more? Click here to continue!
Does Christmas have you singing the blues? The holidays are supposed to be about good times with family, friends, and traditions. Yet, many of us dredge up old feelings from divorce, job loss, money, or even the death of a beloved pet. December has more stimuli than other times of the year, sparking memories that are both happy and sad. The many holiday sounds, traditions, and smells take us down memory lane, but often that road runs two ways, lined with both cherished and painful memories of what once was part of our lives. …Want to know more? Click here!
These celebrity exes have one of the best post-divorce relationships in Hollywood. Just recently, they both supported their daughter Rumor Willis on 'Dancing with the Stars.' Photo: David Gabber / PR Photos; Janet Mayer / PR Photos
What should a man know before going on vacation with his significant other for the very first time? Well, there are a couple of things to keep in mind. You’re going to see your significant other in a whole different way when you go away with her. If you follow my expert relationship advice, I strongly suggest you engage her to see how she handles certain situations. …Don’t miss the rest! Click here for more dating advice.
So you’ve met somebody you really care about. You’ve exchanged the “I like you’s.” You might have even exchanged the “I love you’s.” You’re talking about a future — or at least something to do next month. And then all of a sudden she says, “My parents are in town this weekend, and I’d love for you to come to dinner with us.” …Want more dating advice? Click here to continue!
By Project Soulmate matchmakers Lori Zaslow and Jennifer Zucher with contributing writers Nicole Hartley and Samantha Cohen
Is there something about your significant other that bothers you a little too much and a little too often? Relationships and love are often born on “the little things.” It’s the little things that attract you to your significant other, but it can also be the little things that really annoy you about that person too. Is her voice too squeaky? Does he talk too loud in public? Does her taste in music really drive you insane? Partnershipsare difficult enough without those small annoyances getting in the way. Finding the perfect person can be a difficult task, but once you do find your match, how do you get over those things they do that bother you? Read on for our expert dating advice! …Want to know more? Click here to continue!
This is a really tough article to write. When is it time to call it quits with your significant other? Is it when you have exhausted every single avenue, when you have reached a point of diminishing returns in the effort to make your relationship and love work?
Once a relationship goes down the he-said, she-said route or it starts to look like a standoff at the O.K. Corral, despite many lengthy, late night conversations, it’s time to bring in the heavy artillery. If you’re not seeing eye-to-eye and you’re acting defensive and resentful of each other, then you need to sit down with a professional. You need to talk to someone on the outside, someone not invested in the relationship. I’m talking about a real professional.
Sad couple after fight in bed. Photo: fabianaponzi / Bigstock.com
By Jared Sais
It’s inevitable that you’ll endure rough patches in your relationship and love, and maintaining a loving and committed attitude during them will help strengthen your bond. If you want to comfort your significant other but aren’t sure what to do, consider these six pieces of non-verbal expert relationship advice: …Don’t miss the rest! Click here for more.
Mother and children. Photo: Anna Omelchenko / Bigstock.com
By Rosalind Sedacca, CCT
Michael Matracci, Esq. is one of the “good guy” collaborative divorce attorneys who avidly supports the concept and principles of a child-centered divorce. He is the author of a new self-help relationship book, Fighting Over the Kids: Resolving Day-to-Day Custody Conflict in Divorce Situations, which can be found at his website, www.divorcewithoutdishonor.com/. …Don’t miss the rest! Click here for more.
