By Jared Sais
We can’t help but wonder about the girls when watching this (and every) season of The Bachelor. Who is genuinely nice? And who is a wolf in sheep’s clothing? Who’s in it for love, and who just wants fame? Of course, the biggest question we ask ourselves is: who is Sean’s future wife?
So in the spirit of The Bachelor, I will give out fives roses to the girls whose body language and non-verbal cues–for better or worse–most captured my attention in last night’s episode. Do you know who’s falling in love and who’s lying to get what she wants?
It is quite obvious to viewers that Kristy has an ulterior motive for being on the show. If you haven’t caught on to this, maybe this quote will help: “I am getting the rose and books, and we are sailing away.”
Don’t be fooled by her good looks, charm and natural ability in front of the camera. This girl has one thing on her mind: fame. Let me ask a question: Are you bringing Sean on a ship that is sailing away with you, your book deal and your rose? You might be saying that she intends for the rose to represent Sean. Why not just say Sean then? When anyone uses an object to represent a person, it’s never a good sign. People are not objects, and it’s clear that Kristy thinks of Sean as just that: an object.
Let’s start from the helicopter. There was the obvious non-verbal cue of Sean putting his arm around Sarah’s back. As many of you know, that’s a sign of sexual attraction. If you’re at a bar or a club, you might be victim to this move. As many of you will notice someone attractive, do a walk by and gently place your hand on their back to carefully get by them. What you’re actually doing is showing that you’re interested.
Sarah plays with her hair a lot, which is something that girls do both out of habit and when they flirt. So, how do I know the difference? When Sarah plays with her hair out of habit, she does it sparingly. When she starts talking to Sean alone, the amount of times that she touches her hair increases. With almost every sentence she says, she’s moving her hair away from her face and revealing a very sexy part of her body, her neck.
A big sign that Sarah is genuinely into Sean is a simple facial expression. If you look closely, you might see Sarah’s nose wrinkle and eyes widen as she smiles at Sean. If there was no sign of a smile or widening of her eyes and just a solo nose wrinkling, I would say that’s more disgust and a big negative. But that’s not the case here. Sarah is flirting with him and clearly very interested.
Though there is a lot more to consider from Sarah’s date, I leave you with this idea: Sarah is not as innocent as she is portraying herself to be. Even so, there is definitely some chemistry between her and Sean. But the girl I focus on next may have more of an edge.
She said it the best when she said, “Something must have been wrong with my body language.” Lesley, you’re absolutely right – there were four major reasons why that kiss never took place.
–Lesley never tilted her body fully toward Sean; she only looked at him with the majority of her body still facing the table. This positioning did two things: it blocked her off and made her less approachable, and it also confused Sean and made him second-guess himself.
–The second thing I noticed was a lack of touch. There was never an escalation of touching. They stayed holding hands. However, as Sean looked for definite approval and an “it’s okay to kiss me” sign, he never saw it.
–The third thing Lesley did wrong was her hand remained in front of her. This body language is the same as crossing your arms or holding a purse in front of you. She blocked herself off without meaning to do so.
–The fourth thing is there was no obvious sign of flirting. Okay ladies, if you get one thing out of this article, it should be this: guys are not the best at picking up your flirting cues. If you think you are sending out an obvious sign that you like us, chances are we didn’t notice it or we convinced ourselves that we’re crazy and a pretty girl like you would never flirt with us. So flirt hard until we get the hint.
Now, what did Lesley do right that made her second chance with Sean end with a kiss? Her body was fully facing Sean, and she had more open body language when speaking with him. She made her intentions fully known when she put her hands on his shirt and went in for the kiss. As they parted ways, Sean reached for her hands. You might have noticed that Sean’s thumbs were on top of Lesley’s hands, his way of giving thumbs up to her (in this case, two thumbs up).
If every week were just like this week, Desiree would be the last woman standing. They could not keep their hands off each other from the moment they stepped out of the limo; the chemistry of these two is through the roof. You can see it and hear it in their voices. But the biggest cue of how much they like each other came from two nonverbal cues and one big verbal statement.
When Desiree and Sean were talking, Desiree did a very flirtatious facial expression: she smiled as her eyes widened and her nose wrinkled (just like Sarah). This positive facial expression indicates a very strong liking for Sean.
The other nonverbal cue was the pitch and tone of her voice. As they talked more and opened up with each other, Desiree’s voice went into whisper and sounded more loving. This shift only happens when you are extremely interested in someone. Also, if someone whispers, you naturally move closer to hear him or her better, a perfect tactic to draw Sean closer for a kiss. Sneaky, isn’t it?
Lastly, the most revealing verbal statement was that Sean mentioned multiple times that he wants to be married to someone who can be his best friend. After Desiree talked about her relationship with her family and the connection that her father and mother have with each other, Sean was quick to add that he “is working on making Desiree his best friend.”
Plus, Sean already has a nickname for her: Dez. It’s definitely the start of something special for these two!
Both seemed to have crushes on each other when they first met. Can this be fate? The attraction is still there, and once again, we get a first hand look at how easy it is to communicate a false impression. Sean left their initial meeting feeling like Kacie was not interested in him, so he thought of her as a friend. The good news is that they talked it out and both revealed that they have feelings for each other.
This relationship marks trouble for Dez, as Kacie already knew Sean and proved to be a good friend. There is a theory that states the more times you see something or someone, the more you will like them. Because Sean knew Kacie before the season started, she already is one step ahead of the rest of the girls.
I think this could turn into the battle of Dez versus Kacie. But it’s a long road to love, and something tells me we haven’t seen anything yet.
My roses are gone, but there are two more women that I must mention.
I could write a book about Tierra, but let’s just focus on this quote: “I feel like this is not a competition. I am not going to let any girl stop me from getting the rose.” Fantastic – well, I am glad this isn’t a competitive game for you. Now that you have let the world know you’re here for the rose, how do you feel about Sean? Notice anything in common with Kristy?
At the end of the show, when Sean didn’t give a rose to Diana, he said he didn’t want to keep her away from her kids if he didn’t see any potential for love. I have a soft spot for single mothers looking for love, so Diana, I would love to find you a genuine man to be with for the rest of your life. I thought you were amazing, and if there are any single mothers out there, you all deserve roses in this world.
I hope I answered some of your questions, but if I didn’t, please leave them in the comments below. I shared my top picks for Sean – who do you hope he gives a rose to next week? Share your thoughts below.
Connect With Cupid...