Most people were taking bets on the marriage before Kim Kardashian walked down the aisle to Kris Humphries. But even Kim’s most critical pundits raised eyebrows when word got out divorce papers were filed so quickly after the extravagant wedding.
You can find meaning in every visual, verbal, nonverbal, and physical cue. So I was not shocked to hear Kim and Kris would not live happily ever after. Let’s start with Kris’s last name, Humphries. For those who watch Kim’s reality show, you know she waffled about whether she’d take Kris’s name or not. We witnessed fights she had with her mother who urged, if not demanded, her to keep her name as Kim defended her soon-to-be marriage and man. We even saw Kris acknowledging the name was Kim’s tie to her late father. In the eleventh hour, Kim kept her own—much to what looked like the surprise of Kris—as the couple signed their marriage license.
Body language can say a lot about what’s going on inside someone. Let’s investigate their on-camera communication. Even as you look at Kim and Kris together, they are a mis-match—in size, in age, and in geographic demographic. All of these elements come across subtly and obviously when you watch their body language. These body language fractures were abundant in the days leading up to the wedding. From a cold wedding rehearsal and Kim pretending to be a runaway bride; and Kris needing to check his phone and text during these important preparations, their body language did not communicate, “Til death do us part.”
When you listened to Kim in the days leading up to her wedding ceremony, you heard a lot of complaints about Kris and how he wasn’t helping with even small tasks for the wedding. If you focus on how Kim delivered these rubs against Kris with her vocal behavior, you get a foreboding picture of their future ahead. Subtextual messages are the messages we send beyond the words we speak. How Kim complained about Kris was just as significant as the actual content of the complaint. Recall the whininess in her voice. Then flash to Kris sharing his discontent when the couple reviewed their wedding reception seating chart. Exasperation is what you hear coming from Kris. The subtextual message there is: “Oh boy, will I ever be heard or respected in this relationship?” He didn’t have to say those words, but his vocal behavior, backed by his facial expressions, delivered that message.
Though most people feel sympathy for anyone going through a divorce, it is challenging to feel sorry for this pair. Being hounded by paparazzi or having a reality show gets blamed for their eventual plight. But remember, they chose this life. Kim has built a mini empire around the visual that gets covered, photographed, Tweeted. No man or non-Kim-focused agenda is going to get in the way. Remember the cover of People magazine with Kim in a wedding dress? Where was Kris then? Now apparently, he’s out of the picture for good.
Roshini Rajkumar is a communication coach and author of book Communicate That, where she shares insider tips for dynamic communication and authentic presentations. Learn more at www.communicatethatbook.com.
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