Question from Ashley G.: My boyfriend and I live about 100 miles apart. We’re both really busy people, so most days, the most we talk is just a text saying “Hi, I love you and hope you had a good day.” My roommate thinks this is ridiculous and says we’re not in a real relationship. Is it okay if my boyfriend and I only text each other instead of calling?
Answer from Our Love Experts:
Tristan Coopersmith, Love Stylist: First off, only YOU can determine if your relationship is a real relationship. What works for you may or may not be the same thing as what works for your roommate.
Secondly, no matter who you are, there are TWO questions that you can ask to measure your relationship potential by: 1) Are you getting your needs met? Is the texting satisfying enough to you or do you crave more?, and 2) Is your relationship on a growth path? Is the way that you two connect moving your relationship forward, or is it just hanging out collecting dust? If you answer “YES” to both of these questions, your relationship is working for you, making it oh so very real. But if you answered “NO” to one or both questions, it may be time to re-examine the value of this relationship. Good luck!
Suzanne Oshima, Matchmaker: A long-distance relationship actually takes a lot more work and effort than a relationship where you both live in the same city. Because you can’t see your boyfriend in person, your only option to connect with him is through virtual forms of communication.
Texting is great for a quick flirt or to let him know you’re thinking of him during your busy workday. However, texting should never be the full premise of a long-distance relationship. To keep your love going, phone calls and Skype are much better for connecting on a more intimate level.
And the truth of the matter is…when it comes to a relationship, no matter how “busy” you both are, you will make time for those things that are important to you.
Paige Wyatt, Reality Star: The relationship between you and your boyfriend is whatever you want it to be. If just texting occasionally makes you both happy, then what’s wrong with that? Being busy makes it really hard to keep a relationship strong, especially a long-distance one since it requires a lot more time on your phone or computer. Your relationship seems low-maintenance and easy to be in with a busy schedule. If this type of relationship is working for you, then don’t change a thing.
For more information on our three relationship gurus, click here.
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