By Nancy Parker
If you speak to any number of parents today about how parenting has affected their marriage, you may be surprised to hear many tell you that it has solidified their marriage. They will almost certainly tell you that parenting is hard work and incredibly stressful, but at the same time, they will tell you that they feel closer to their spouse after having kids than before. This may seem paradoxical. After all, enduring intensely stressful situations and bringing responsibility and hard work into your relationship seems like it may pull a couple apart. In many cases, however, the opposite is true. There are a number of key reasons why raising a child can solidify your marriage despite being stressful:
1. Shared Love
In most cases, no two individuals love a child more than his biological parents. The love for a child may begin to grow almost as soon as the parents learn of the pregnancy, and this love deepens with each passing day. This is a love that the parents together share for the child, and they both work to provide the child with the best childhood experience possible. Sharing the same intense feelings for another person is a bonding experience, and this is a bond that can indeed solidify a relationship.
Raising a child together is about more than just feeling intense love for the child. It takes a lot of hard work to care for and raise a child, and this hard work begins as soon as the child is born. During infancy, the couple must work together as a team to ensure that the baby as well as both parents meet their basic needs regarding feeding, sleeping and more. An infant is dependent on the care of the parents, and the parents work together as a team to fulfill those needs while also watching out for the health and well-being of each other. As the child grows, the teamwork approach transitions into different aspects of parenting such as discipline, education, childcare and more.
3. More Than Just a Couple
Before the first child is born into the marriage, the couple is simply a couple bound together by love and perhaps wedding vows. When you bring a child into the relationship, however, your relationship transitions into something more significant. You are no longer a couple, and instead, you have transitioned into a family. There is a bond that deepens between a man and a woman when a family is formed. The deep feelings associated with creating a family with another person deepen the bond you have with that person.
It is interesting to take note that giving birth to a child will not heal a relationship that is already on rocky ground. In fact, the hard work and stress associated with raising a child may be the tipping point in an already shaky relationship that could lead to the couple breaking up. On the other hand, when a couple that has a solid relationship brings a child into their lives, the experience of raising the child can provide a deeper bond than the couple previously had. With a look at celebrity couples, you may see how relationships like that between Victoria and David Beckham have been solidified with the addition of their children in their lives. On the other hand, other relationships that may have been on less steady ground to start with, such as that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, were not solidified with the birth of a child.
Nancy Parker was a professional nanny and she loves to write about wide range of subjects like health, Parenting, Child Care, Babysitting, nanny, www.enannysource.com/ etc. You can reach her @ nancy.parker015 @ gmail.com.
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