The flowers are blooming, the grass is growing—meaning it’s time for some spring cleaning. But we’re not talking about clearing out your closet or freshening up your house. Nope, we’re talking about spring cleaning your love life. Yes, you heard me. It’s time to wash that guy right out of your hair.
Jumpstart this spring with a fresh outlook and shed yourself of the five kinds of guys that spell out trouble.
Of course we girls are notoriously bad at letting go of Mr. Wrong. Even though we know in our hearts we should. (How could we not, with our best friends telling us every five seconds?)
So for a little added motivation, we recruited our favorite Straight Male Friend, Marcus Osborne, to smack us down. And give us the 411 on the five guys we need to dump this spring.
“You’ve GOT to be willing to cut the cord. Respect your deal-breakers… and let the deal be broken,” Osborne insists. “The alternative is to stick around in a relationship that fires round after round at your self-esteem.”
Is your man on Osborne’s hit list? Take a look!
5 Guys to Dump
1. Mr. I’m Too Busy: “Gosh you’re amazing but I just don’t have the time for a relationship right now.” If you’ve heard any variation of that line, know that you’ve just been warned. That relationship, if that’s what you’re hoping for, is going nowhere and he’s basically told you so. The deal with Mr. I’m Too Busy is that he really isn’t too busy. If you believe nothing I ever tell you, believe this- If the guy is into you, he’ll find time. Period.
2. Mr. Panderer: This is the guy who has mastered the “game.” Typically, he seeks out women who are looking for an old-school/traditional guy. Why? Because (in his mind) that woman can be had by sticking to the old courting playbook. She’s not a huge challenge for him—even though the woman may think she is. Not for Mr. Panderer. He knows what SHE thinks before she even thinks it because it’s all in the playbook. He says and does all the “right” things as a gentleman all the time. If he seems too good to be true….start looking for clips of him on Dateline.
3. Mr. Mysterious: This guy can be everything or anything. His genius is making you feel as if you know him “well enough” without knowing a thing about him. You probably haven’t been to his place. And if you have, you’ve probably only been there at certain times. He never really answers questions about his life. It’s likely he’s reluctant to introduce you to his friends or family—and has made mention or attempt at doing so. And he probably doesn’t care to meet yours. This guy probably has no male friends either. No best friends? Beware. No matter how sexy or intriguing Mr. Mysterious seems to be, there’s something not quite right about him.
Related: Why Men Look at Other Women
4. Mr. Know-It-All: One of the worst. Mr. Know-It-All may initially be impressive. His intellect is alluring, no doubt. Problem here? No one really knows it all. Furthermore, no one wants to be around anyone who thinks they know it all. Even worse, this guy can tend to be overbearing and domineering. He’s always telling you what you did wrong, always telling you the “right” way to do things. He has very little regard for other perspectives. His high opinion of his opinions turns your friends off as much as it turns you on. Ultimately, this guy will end up being far more controlling than you expect and that’s not good.
5. Mr. Apology: We all love and appreciate contrition. You screw up? You own up to it. But there’s a limit to everything. How many times can a person apologize before you realize that the repentance has the worth of Monopoly money? (Especially if it’s for the same transgression time and again.) Understand this; if the guy is constantly apologizing he either lacks confidence or he doesn’t really respect you. Because at some point the lesson learned should stick and shouldn’t keep happening. If it DOES, it’s because he knows he can get away with it by saying, “my bad.” Not good enough.
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