By David Wygant
Do you love talking about the potential of having children in the near future? Is your number-one goal to meet somebody, just so you can have children? Quite simply, are you dating because your womb has a vacancy? Well then, you’re dating 100% wrong. Let me tell you something: women that think like this are women that will be raising kids alone.
How do I know that? Because I’ve been through it. Here’s some things to think about:
All relationships need nurturing: Men, women, we all need to nurture one another. In order to have a great relationship with a solid foundation, the flow should usually look something like this: Man meets woman. Woman meets man. Woman respects man. Man respects woman. Man fulfills woman’s needs. Woman fulfills man’s needs. These are the basic principles of a relationship. We’ve learned it since the beginning of time.
When we first came into this world, our mom nurtured us. Our dads made sure all our needs were being met. Unfortunately, as we get older, we run into relationships where our needs are not being met, and that’s the problem. There are too many women running around with a biological clock ticking, wanting and desiring a family. So they start marrying men, and once the child comes, they are doing nothing to nurture their relationship because a child was the number one desire in the first place.
Are you one of those women?: Are you one of those women whose number one desire is to have children, because your biological clock is ticking, your womb has vacancy and all you think about is meeting a man to have a kid? Life doesn’t work that way. You can’t—even if you’re now in your 30s—rush a relationship for the sake of having children. What happens is simple: you won’t be laying a solid foundation, and you will get exactly what you wanted—a kid—but you will be with a man that you don’t spend any time nurturing and honoring. There are so many men running around in this world that have not been nurtured, not been honored and not received the love that they needed because they met a woman who had a womb vacancy.
It’s time that you got honest with yourself: What part of a relationship do you really desire? Do you want a relationship or do you want a kid? If you want a family, then you have to put your relationship first—you have to build roots. A family is rooted. It starts when two people love each other, honor one another and nurture one another. Too many times—in all my years of coaching—have I seen women bamboozle men. The woman gives him great things, promises him the world and then all of a sudden the child comes and guess what happens: the man no longer gets attention, no longer gets nurtured and it becomes all about what the woman really wanted in the first place. She wanted that vacant womb to be fulfilled. She wanted to be a mother.
This is an open letter to every single woman out there: Make sure you realize that it’s not just about having a baby. This is your wake-up call: be honest with yourself and who you are as a person. There are too many kids running around in this world that don’t have a mom and a dad. Or maybe they have a mom and a dad but they don’t have a mom and a dad that live together. Or they live together but they don’t love each other. And one reason for this tragedy is that there are too many women out there that are selfish and on a biological clock. Don’t tell me I don’t understand a biological clock—I understand what human emotions are and I understand what priorities are, and I understand that if you’ve got this clock ticking you may not be making the best decisions. You may just be thinking about one thing: filling that vacancy. But if you really want to fill it right away, call Priceline. They’re masters at filling vacant hotel rooms, maybe you can get them to fill your womb! Just don’t think finding a man will solve that problem as easily.
David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship coach, author of the new book Naked and speaker. Through his boot camps, personal coaching and his website, his advice has transformed the dating lives and relationships of hundreds of thousands of people from every corner of the globe.
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